The Circle of Life — Maralal, Kenya | April 2001
“Kwenda Choo Katika Maralal Safari Lodge! ”
I’m on my way to the toilet. Every morning I have a breakfast of mandazis and a couple of mugs of black machine oil-like coffee at my shoestring budget butchery-bar-hotel and then walk four kilometres across the savannah to the upscale Maralal Safari Lodge to use their bathroom. Why? Because I can’t quite deal with the semi-private hole-in-the-ground squat toilet provided by my lodging.
It’s not the toilet an sich I have a problem with. During my army years a toilet meant nothing more than a bush or tree at sufficient distance from the bivouac to squat behind — meanwhile scrupulously scanning your surroundings for foraging wild boars. No, it’s the buzzing swarm of fat dung flies, which seem to aggressively aim straight for the eyes, that sends me on this daily hike to the Maralal Safari Lodge. I have a fly phobia. When I was little I once opened a trashcan and a swarm of freshly hatched flies flew into my face. These days, just one obnoxious fly, even though completely harmless, is enough to drive me out of a room.
At this exclusive safari retreat — with its liveried servants, hunting trophies on the walls and an impressive selection of tea choices, very reminiscent of the good old British Kenya (pronounced Kéénya) Colony and Protectorate days — there is a spacious bathroom in which stands a shiny white porcelain flush toilet accompanied by a wash basin with hot and cold running water. More importantly, there are no dung flies anywhere in this impeccably clean place! It’s quite a trek up here and a drink costs a small fortune, but it’s well worth it.
There are other perks to this daily venture. As I follow the elephant paths through the savannah, there’s an array of wildlife to be seen: zebras, impalas, warthogs, gnus, giraffes and many others all vying for attention. There are even quite a few tame camels as the Maralal Safari Lodge is the finishing point of the annual Maralal Great Camel Race.
Other “attractions” along the way are the ever friendly members of the Samburu tribe. Ethnically related to the better known Maasai of southern Kenya, bands of Samburu morani (warriors) roam the savannah practising their high-jumps while bare-breasted girls gather at improvised markets.
What amazes me most is how this eight-kilometre daily trek to and fro the toilet at the Maralal Safari Lodge has become the highlight of my stay here. Just two weeks ago I came back to my butchery-bar-hotel from my first trip to the lodge, all hot and sweaty, seriously annoyed by the fact there wasn’t a decent toilet in my room.
I had come to a third-world country with a first-world mindset and somehow assumed the third-world stuff was just for the locals, not for ME. Little did I know that decent toilets really are a luxury in most parts of this world. As I huffed and puffed toward my room (yes, MY room in a country where most don’t even know the concept of “your own place”), I noticed an old man sitting on the veranda looking very, very content.
“What makes you so happy?” I asked somewhat annoyed by his happy glow.
“It’s not raining today bwana,” he answered, “actually the weather is very comfortable today.” Then it hit me, he was right, of course! I spend so much time whining and complaining about the things I don’t like (don’t we all), but I’ve completely forgotten to appreciate the small things that make life worth living.
The next morning I left for my daily toilet trip with a new mindset. For the first time I really noticed the beauty of the savannah, became aware of the sheer amount of wildlife and I had my first chat with some of the morani.
“You have been going where?” the old man, as always sitting on the hotel’s veranda, asked.
“Kwenda choo katika bwana,” I’ve been to the toilet sir, I answered feeling completely reborn.
Since then I’ve happily settled into my daily toilet routine. My sojourns to the Maralal Safari Lodge have turned from a nuisance to a delight. The world looks different, hakuna matata it’s a wonderful day!
Elton John – The Circle of Life on The Lion King OST [CD]. Mmambatho, South Africa: BOP Studios. (1993)
This autobiographical sketch comes from my bundle In the Moment: A Disjointed Audiobiography which is available at Amazon.com. (USD 9.50 for a paperback or USD 4.50 for the Kindle version)
